Memorable B-Sides: Collyn Drake’s “Widow’s Peak” and “Pleading Breeze”
The Memorable B-Sides series spotlights writing and art submitted to us that weren’t selected for print, but that are fantastic in their own right. Each introduction tells you why we returned to the piece. As a disclaimer — we aren’t experts, only fans offering possible interpretations.
These two poems by Collyn Drake beautifully illustrate the feelings of loss, love, guilt, and freedom — how there are so many contradictions within us at any given point in time. “Widow’s Peak” shows the tension a woman experiences in the wake of her husband’s death. Although he was not a good man, she feels the hollowness of his absence and a love towards him that will never go away. “Pleading Breeze” follows these themes, but reveals the perspective of the husband who died — the regret he now carries because he hurt her during their marriage and now isn’t alive to apologize. In the end, he promises to never leave her side — the only thing he can really do for her now. Both of these voices are two sides of the same coin. With loss come revelations and conflicting emotions that we cannot control, but can only learn to accept.
“Widow’s Peak”
The swing on my porch
isn’t the same without you.
It’s better.
The breeze blows
the swing goes
and I rest with toast
and tea
loving all about me.
I do miss your smiles,
warmer than tea
the way you brushed my cheek,
the way you held me.
I’m glad you’re dead.
brought sin
and lies
to our marital bed.
There’s no more torture.
Yet I cry, and cry
wishing you were closer.
The memory of you swings around
my insides with no aim
striking my heart,
I wince in pain.
bumping my hips,
butterflies again.
Maybe I love you,
maybe it’s a knack.
I’ll never forgive you, baby
please come back.
Tears for a bastard
who got himself killed.
I hate that. I love my husband,
and always will.
“Pleading Breeze”
I’m sure you’re on your porch swing now,
enjoying toast and tea.
I’m sure the time is better,
swinging without me.
I miss you
and always will, my wife
through struggle, strife
even after life.
Though it’s too late,
I wish I could make this right,
1,000 kisses
for every dumb fight.
I’m sorry I hurt you
and again when I died.
Not death, not hell
but at your tears
I cried.
I was a fool
and maybe I still am,
facing a cold eternity
but only yearning for your hand.
Maybe this is it
maybe this is hell,
knowing I found an angel,
but I’m the one who fell.
It pains me,
thinking of you after I left.
Don’t bother with flowers on my grave,
I’ll leave some on the doorstep.
Life ruined me,
it was too much to bear,
in the simplicity of death
I promise I’ll be there.
Pushing your porch swing,
I’ll be that breeze.
Enjoy your tea, your ease,
without lies, without sin
without me.