Elegy To Edie

Beautiful, bright, clever and thin.
You were everything I tried to be.
I was so grateful when you promised to teach me
how to deceive the world and be perfect
just like you.

Together we committed to sins
that made me strong and better than others.
We hid food inside napkins
and spewed into the toilet
laughing at our wit.

When my hair grew dull and my skin pale
and my nails began to brittle,
you told me I just had to try harder.
I gasped for help from those I’d scared away
while you told me you were all I had.

The fight was bloody
the rebuilding painful
but we no longer talk as we did.
I still bite my nails
and cover my mouth when I chew –
reminders you aren’t far away.

Now I am me
That is all that I am.

And you are not anything at all.