Borderline

TW: Mental Health

I pace back and forth trying to find the words

Talking to you feels like I'm speaking to a wall

Blank, nothingness glares back at me 

Am I the problem or do you not understand 

I try to explain the highs and the lows

You ask why I can't just change

“Fix yourself,” you say

How can I?

The highs are amazing

Spontaneous trips and late night endeavors 

This is when I'm peak at getting things done

Everything around me just feels amazing and enhanced 

The lows are almost too low to handle 

In bed for days, unable to speak

My head fills up with sadness and rage

Sometimes I wonder, “what if?”

No one talks about the dependency 

The need to have someone around to rely on

I call them a favorite person

But those around me see it as an obsession

I may be borderline now 

This feeling might be forever

But maybe one day I'll find someone,

Who only makes me feel the highs